The day before yesterday I was at the monthly meeting of the Writers Guild when I realized it has been a long time since I posted anything on my blog. Then I was thinking about, wondering why I fell out of the habit, and began to reflect. I realized that for the past 7 weeks I have either had events or company and I have not had two days in a row that there hasn't been something of some importance on my schedule. At first I was a bit dismayed by this realization, but now I have decided to relish in the fact that I have people and responsibilities in my life that are meaningful enough for me to put aside the fact that I am exhausted, to muster up the energy to push on.
Just a year ago I was adjusting to being back in the mitten after nearly a year of dealing with death and terminal illness. The future was bleak as well, and I was having a very hard time rising above despair. My children were grown and didn't need me, my parents had passed and didn't need me, and I was in the worst funk of my life.
Since I arrived in Lawrence in January I have been busy, but mostly busy figuring things out. I finally feel like I am finding my bearings. Since this semester started we have done 2222 consultations including 50 at special events like the research write-in last Saturday. In collaboration with the libraries here at KU we have been holding a series of these events this fall, and apparently the word is spreading. We take over a whole floor of the library and last Saturday 75 Graduate students came to write, research, attend mini-workshops, have consultations and write, write, write some more. It was awesome.
The weekend before I did my first "solo" at a conference presenting at the Midwest Writing Center Association conference in Madison, Wisconsin. I travelled by train with three of our fabulous, brilliant graduate consultants - who also presented at the conference. It was exciting and exhausting, but mostly a wonderful opportunity to learn and laugh. I almost forgot that it would have been my Mom's birthday that weekend. And the two weekends before that my boyfriend was here and there was a lot to show him.
This past week I did a workshop for honors science students and one for honors business students, 7 graduate consultations, 4 onlines, covered shifts for consultants and office assistants who were ill or had some other kind of emergency, did a workshop for professional development for faculty and staff who needed to learn how to do online responses to writers, planned and held a birthday party, and set up and attended this month's consultant practicitum. Whew.
Now I only have two weeks before I go home for the Thanksgiving break, and then less than four weeks until I go home again for Christmas. In between I have four undergraduate write-ins, consultant observations, end of semester meetings and probably about 300 online consultations to get done. I am exhausted, so this weekend I am going to relish being a bum, watching football on TV, eating when I am hungry and taking naps whenever I feel like it. (Oh - and I am going to remember to change all my clocks!)
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
The Sunflower State
I have been trying to figure out why Kansas is called the Sunflower State since I got here. I now understand, and with that understanding has come the realization that no matter how 'worldly' I think I am, I am apparently still carrying preconceived ideas, prejudices and bias around with me.
I am not sure if it is due to the fact that I watched the Wizard of Oz too many times, or if I listened to other peoples ideas too carefully or exactly why, but I realized that when I thought of Kansas, I have always thought the following: flat, corn, wheat, flat, soybeans, rectangular and more flat. While I still think there are parts of Kansas that are flat, my knees and I are very certain that parts of Kansas are very hilly. Not little rolling hills like Michigan, great big hills.
There is a sign just after you drive onto the Kansas Tollway from the east which says something like, "Kansas farmers feed 28 people, themselves, and you!" The rich soil of the valleys have big fields of corn, wheat and soybeans growing in them, so I am guessing that sign is probably true.
But I have still been hung up on the Sunflower State motto. I have wondered if perhaps just to my south there aren't farms growing fields and fields of sunflowers, and I just haven't happened upon them yet. Or maybe they do that far out to the west... it has been a puzzle. That puzzle has now been solved.
You know how, when you drive in Michigan, Indiana or Ohio there are wide carpets of natural grasses, wildflowers and weeds growing just beyond the shoulder of the highways? Often there are huge patches of the dreaded weed goldenrod, which are very pretty to look at but evil for anyone with allergies. Well, much to my surprise, in Kansas there are sunflowers. They are growing along every fence line, along the drainage valleys, through the cement under the overpasses, by the street lights, they are all over the place!
So now I have to wonder... if I have carried all these misconceptions about Kansas all these years, are there others? I am guessing that I have similar preconceived ideas about other places, but I haven't become aware of them yet, and this makes me kind of angry with myself. I don't like the idea that I am carrying such misconceptions around with me everywhere I go.
I am not sure if it is due to the fact that I watched the Wizard of Oz too many times, or if I listened to other peoples ideas too carefully or exactly why, but I realized that when I thought of Kansas, I have always thought the following: flat, corn, wheat, flat, soybeans, rectangular and more flat. While I still think there are parts of Kansas that are flat, my knees and I are very certain that parts of Kansas are very hilly. Not little rolling hills like Michigan, great big hills.
There is a sign just after you drive onto the Kansas Tollway from the east which says something like, "Kansas farmers feed 28 people, themselves, and you!" The rich soil of the valleys have big fields of corn, wheat and soybeans growing in them, so I am guessing that sign is probably true.
But I have still been hung up on the Sunflower State motto. I have wondered if perhaps just to my south there aren't farms growing fields and fields of sunflowers, and I just haven't happened upon them yet. Or maybe they do that far out to the west... it has been a puzzle. That puzzle has now been solved.
You know how, when you drive in Michigan, Indiana or Ohio there are wide carpets of natural grasses, wildflowers and weeds growing just beyond the shoulder of the highways? Often there are huge patches of the dreaded weed goldenrod, which are very pretty to look at but evil for anyone with allergies. Well, much to my surprise, in Kansas there are sunflowers. They are growing along every fence line, along the drainage valleys, through the cement under the overpasses, by the street lights, they are all over the place!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Seasons
Many people will tell you that spring is their favorite season. I can understand that sentiment, life renews, flowers bloom, the temperatures warm as the days get longer. For some reason, I love fall the best. I don't know if it is because my birthday is in the fall, or because the holiday season is upon us or because the temperatures drop... I am beginning to think it is because that is when the new chapter of life begins for those of us in Academia.
I grew up in a household of academics and my father's joy at the beginning of each new school year was contagious. He would be giddy at the start of every semester, giddy with the possibilities each new class brought to his life. I, on the other hand, used to feel the dread of having to meet new classmates, learn that new locker combination and live up to the standards my parents set by example. Now, however, I can see why Dad was so excited, so many bright minds and wonderful stories to share.
I have lived in several places where the seasons are not the same as here in the Midwest US. I have always been miserable in October in those places - the lack of change making me feel like something important was missing in my life. Florida, California, West Africa - you guys can keep your versions, I like the big changes.
As soon as the temperatures turn cooler I find I am invigorated and suddenly want to cook and bake. Perhaps it is a residual urge, from the times when preparing for the winter was a life or death matter. I am currently struggling with an irrational desire to buy a bushel of tomatoes and put them up for the winter, alone in this tiny apartment where I have neither the space for such an endeavor, nor the bellies to be filled. Instead, this year my challenge is to figure out what I can cook and bake that can be easily stored, consumed and shared. I want to make casseroles, stews and soups and bake all kinds of muffins, pies and cakes. But I have a tiny freezer, so I am going to have to be careful not to over-do.
I love the Autumn. Bring on the cooler temperatures, steady rains and changing leaves. I am ready to get busy in the kitchen!
I grew up in a household of academics and my father's joy at the beginning of each new school year was contagious. He would be giddy at the start of every semester, giddy with the possibilities each new class brought to his life. I, on the other hand, used to feel the dread of having to meet new classmates, learn that new locker combination and live up to the standards my parents set by example. Now, however, I can see why Dad was so excited, so many bright minds and wonderful stories to share.
I have lived in several places where the seasons are not the same as here in the Midwest US. I have always been miserable in October in those places - the lack of change making me feel like something important was missing in my life. Florida, California, West Africa - you guys can keep your versions, I like the big changes.
As soon as the temperatures turn cooler I find I am invigorated and suddenly want to cook and bake. Perhaps it is a residual urge, from the times when preparing for the winter was a life or death matter. I am currently struggling with an irrational desire to buy a bushel of tomatoes and put them up for the winter, alone in this tiny apartment where I have neither the space for such an endeavor, nor the bellies to be filled. Instead, this year my challenge is to figure out what I can cook and bake that can be easily stored, consumed and shared. I want to make casseroles, stews and soups and bake all kinds of muffins, pies and cakes. But I have a tiny freezer, so I am going to have to be careful not to over-do.
I love the Autumn. Bring on the cooler temperatures, steady rains and changing leaves. I am ready to get busy in the kitchen!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11
It is amazing how certain events in our lives stick dates out like sign posts to help us mark the milestones in our lives. For me the first one was President Kennedy's assassination on November 22nd, 1963. I had just turned 5 years old. All I really understood was that our President, who apparently everyone loved very much, had been shot and killed. Everyone was sad and we got days off from school. The 60's were troubling years for me growing up, as there was so much violence that I simply could not understand.
For me personally, July of 1967 was probably the most difficult. At 9 years old we were evacuated from the civil war in Biafra and returned to the US only to be greeted by the televised reports of the 6 Day War in the middle east. I clearly remember seeing the images on TV - the first TV images I had understood since we went to Africa two years earlier. 1968 was a terrible year as well since we lost both MLK, Jr and Bobby Kennedy and I was beginning to understand that if you wanted to do good, you ran the risk of being killed. And then, of course, there was Viet Nam...
The 70's were somewhat quieter, starting with the end of the Nigeria-Biafra civil war coming to an end, with Nigeria re-absorbing the Biafrans they had worked so hard to eliminate. This was followed by the Kent State shooting in 1970, the attack on the Munich Olympics in '72, Nixon's resignation in '74, more violence in the Middle East, the end of the Viet Nam conflict in '75 and so on... ad nauseum. Then we had the 80's with more assassinations or attempts. I will never forget the day John Lennon was killed, It was a Sunday in 1980 and I was watching football when they announced the news. I sat on the floor in my kitchen and cried.
Not all of these events have been tragedies. I clearly remember watching the moon landing on July 20th 1969. The Berlin Wall coming down in 1989. the fall of the USSR and the end of Apartheid in 1994 were all milestones for me. These events brought a glimmer of hope that human beings could resolve and embrace their differences and live in peace and harmony.
I was in my English 112 class when the first plane hit the tower on 9/11/01. They sent us home. My children were 10 and 16 and Manu was with us from Germany that fall. I got Manu out of bed when I got home and stunned by the images, we watched the tragedy unfold together. Like Pearl Harbor for the generation before mine, I quickly realized that this would be the "assassination of President Kennedy" for my children. This would be the first event that they would have as a milestone in their lives.
Someone recently asked me "How do you do it?" referring to my living so far from home. I wasn't quite sure what to say. Today, reflecting on the events of my life, I know the answer to that question. You do whatever you have to do to survive living in a world with so much insanity, violence and uncertainty. You look for the simple joys in life and you go on.
For me personally, July of 1967 was probably the most difficult. At 9 years old we were evacuated from the civil war in Biafra and returned to the US only to be greeted by the televised reports of the 6 Day War in the middle east. I clearly remember seeing the images on TV - the first TV images I had understood since we went to Africa two years earlier. 1968 was a terrible year as well since we lost both MLK, Jr and Bobby Kennedy and I was beginning to understand that if you wanted to do good, you ran the risk of being killed. And then, of course, there was Viet Nam...
The 70's were somewhat quieter, starting with the end of the Nigeria-Biafra civil war coming to an end, with Nigeria re-absorbing the Biafrans they had worked so hard to eliminate. This was followed by the Kent State shooting in 1970, the attack on the Munich Olympics in '72, Nixon's resignation in '74, more violence in the Middle East, the end of the Viet Nam conflict in '75 and so on... ad nauseum. Then we had the 80's with more assassinations or attempts. I will never forget the day John Lennon was killed, It was a Sunday in 1980 and I was watching football when they announced the news. I sat on the floor in my kitchen and cried.
Not all of these events have been tragedies. I clearly remember watching the moon landing on July 20th 1969. The Berlin Wall coming down in 1989. the fall of the USSR and the end of Apartheid in 1994 were all milestones for me. These events brought a glimmer of hope that human beings could resolve and embrace their differences and live in peace and harmony.
I was in my English 112 class when the first plane hit the tower on 9/11/01. They sent us home. My children were 10 and 16 and Manu was with us from Germany that fall. I got Manu out of bed when I got home and stunned by the images, we watched the tragedy unfold together. Like Pearl Harbor for the generation before mine, I quickly realized that this would be the "assassination of President Kennedy" for my children. This would be the first event that they would have as a milestone in their lives.
Someone recently asked me "How do you do it?" referring to my living so far from home. I wasn't quite sure what to say. Today, reflecting on the events of my life, I know the answer to that question. You do whatever you have to do to survive living in a world with so much insanity, violence and uncertainty. You look for the simple joys in life and you go on.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Scheduling
This week my main task was to schedule 30 writing consultants in our two main centers and five satellite locations for the fall semester. That is 30 brilliant students who all have other obligations, classes to take, classes to teach, office hours to keep, homework to do and their own personal writing tasks to complete covering some 260 hours of writing consultations every week. We have this awesome computer system wherein the consultants can upload their availability for the week, and then my task was to sort them all out into various slots in the various 'writer's roosts'. This task was compounded by a number of variables: no rookies working by themselves, each grad consultant has at least one shift working with grad writers, all shifts in the main roosts having a balance of rookies and veterans, lead consultants having shifts in the home roost, and individuals' preferences respected based on their seniority, etc.
Well, its done... at least until we meet next month and someone tells me that they had to switch their class schedule so they could take that class from their favorite professor.
Well, its done... at least until we meet next month and someone tells me that they had to switch their class schedule so they could take that class from their favorite professor.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Couch Surfing
I got involved with couch surfing while I was in Istanbul and this week I had my first surfer here in Lawrence. If you are not hip to couch surfing you should check out the website http://www.couchsurfing.org/ . It is a very cool way to travel, and, as my surfer pointed out to me this week, it is not just a way to travel on the cheap, it is a way to immerse yourself in other cultures and make new friends along the way.
My surfer this past week was an inspiration in many ways. She is Brazilian, but lived here 35 years ago while her father was doing his PhD at KU. She was still a child when they left, and her joy and awe at rediscovering the sites of her youth -the apartment where they lived, the nearby park, her elementary school - it was marvelous to witness. I was very sorry that her travels brought her to Kansas the hottest week of the year, and I was often concerned for her health, but she managed very well.
A professor of architecture, a cyclist and swimmer, and a recent breast cancer survivor, my couch surfer is an amazingly strong woman who does not realize what an inspiration she is for those of us who spend far more time than we should sitting on our butts. Since I am a huge Tour de France fan, I have spent most every evening for the past three weeks watching the tour, and it was a joy to have her here, sharing in my love for that particular sporting event. Although we live on different sides of the equator, we even share our favorites for the yellow jersey.
I think I am going to shop for an exercise bike...
My surfer this past week was an inspiration in many ways. She is Brazilian, but lived here 35 years ago while her father was doing his PhD at KU. She was still a child when they left, and her joy and awe at rediscovering the sites of her youth -the apartment where they lived, the nearby park, her elementary school - it was marvelous to witness. I was very sorry that her travels brought her to Kansas the hottest week of the year, and I was often concerned for her health, but she managed very well.
A professor of architecture, a cyclist and swimmer, and a recent breast cancer survivor, my couch surfer is an amazingly strong woman who does not realize what an inspiration she is for those of us who spend far more time than we should sitting on our butts. Since I am a huge Tour de France fan, I have spent most every evening for the past three weeks watching the tour, and it was a joy to have her here, sharing in my love for that particular sporting event. Although we live on different sides of the equator, we even share our favorites for the yellow jersey.
I think I am going to shop for an exercise bike...
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Hot times
Suddenly Kansas (and wider areas of the middle of the country) has been captured by a brutal high pressure system which has decided to sit on our heads and spin relentlessly. It is as though an oppressive regime has enslaved the center of the country and is torturing the population while awaiting the delivery of an unnamed ransom payment. The newscast this morning predicted temperatures of 100 degrees or higher for the foreseeable future. And unlike Arizona, it is NOT a "dry heat", the air is thick and heavy all the time.
Not unlike the frigidly uncomfortable temperatures of January, the majority of the population has retreated to within their climate controlled environments, only venturing outside when it is necessary for continued survival... to forage Dillon's or HyVee for food... or to seek shelter at the local theater to consult with our favorite wizard, Harry Potter.
I move quickly from air-conditioned environment to air-conditioned environment... from home to work and back again... from the challenges of of my job to the sanctuary of watching Le Tour d'France... from reality to my dreams of standing in the clean, crisp mountain air, watching the peleton speed by.
Not unlike the frigidly uncomfortable temperatures of January, the majority of the population has retreated to within their climate controlled environments, only venturing outside when it is necessary for continued survival... to forage Dillon's or HyVee for food... or to seek shelter at the local theater to consult with our favorite wizard, Harry Potter.
I move quickly from air-conditioned environment to air-conditioned environment... from home to work and back again... from the challenges of of my job to the sanctuary of watching Le Tour d'France... from reality to my dreams of standing in the clean, crisp mountain air, watching the peleton speed by.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Disconnected
I am disconnected. Cut off. There is a line from me to all those I love, but it has been cut and those ends are hanging with unreceived communication dripping from them. Okay that was pretty dramatic, but I thought the metaphor adequately describes what it is like being hundreds of miles from home. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, the students and my colleagues. But every day, at some point, I will think "Oh man, so-and-so would love that!" And yet, whoever that person is, they are far away and so the communication goes undelivered. It is the sharing of life's experiences which is missing. There have been days when the only communication I have is with the check-out person at the grocery store, and days where there has been no communication at all.
When my children were small and they misbehaved, they would be sent for time out and their lines of communication with others would be cut. They were not allowed to talk to others until they had thought about whatever it was they had done. That was the punishment in our house. So I find myself wondering if in some way I am being punished for something I have done. Analytically I don't think so, but at times it feels that way.
On the other hand, there is something to be said for a solitary existence, to be able to silence the cacophony of voices pulling one's attention in a myriad of directions simultaneously. Not that I have been particularly productive, but I do feel that now I can focus on those things which are important. I will spend my weekends this summer writing, preparing the story I must now tell. Disconnection has led to an ability to focus.
When my children were small and they misbehaved, they would be sent for time out and their lines of communication with others would be cut. They were not allowed to talk to others until they had thought about whatever it was they had done. That was the punishment in our house. So I find myself wondering if in some way I am being punished for something I have done. Analytically I don't think so, but at times it feels that way.
On the other hand, there is something to be said for a solitary existence, to be able to silence the cacophony of voices pulling one's attention in a myriad of directions simultaneously. Not that I have been particularly productive, but I do feel that now I can focus on those things which are important. I will spend my weekends this summer writing, preparing the story I must now tell. Disconnection has led to an ability to focus.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Pancakes
This morning I woke up (at 5:41 like I do) thinking, "I want pancakes!" So I washed my face, brushed my teeth, pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt and off I went. Making pancakes for one person just is not possible, so I decided to go out for breakfast. I drove to the local Perkins, just a couple of miles down the street. I have two comments about this experience.
1) A short stack of pancakes and four strips of bacon should not cost 10 bucks. Especially when the pancakes are incredibly bland and they give you faux maple syrup to put on them.
2) On the drive home I saw about 300 people out for their morning run. I'm serious - all decked out in their short shorts or stretchy pants, sleeveless tops and good quality shoes, they were running in a long line. Some of them were pushing babies, others had their dogs and many of them looked to be having actual conversations as they jogged along the sidewalk.
Okay, so now I feel like a real slacker, no more early morning trips to Perkins for me!
1) A short stack of pancakes and four strips of bacon should not cost 10 bucks. Especially when the pancakes are incredibly bland and they give you faux maple syrup to put on them.
2) On the drive home I saw about 300 people out for their morning run. I'm serious - all decked out in their short shorts or stretchy pants, sleeveless tops and good quality shoes, they were running in a long line. Some of them were pushing babies, others had their dogs and many of them looked to be having actual conversations as they jogged along the sidewalk.
Okay, so now I feel like a real slacker, no more early morning trips to Perkins for me!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
1st Semester Completed!
I completed my first semester at the University of Kansas this week. It has been an interesting adventure with a wonderfully smart and enthusiastic staff. It has been my pleasure to contribute to the 2873 consultations with writers that were done this semester, including over 320 online consultations. I have learned so much from the staff, about the practice of writing consultation, about my own practice and about the vibrant culture here at KU. And as always seems to happen with me, every day I learn that I have so much more to learn.
It is also bittersweet to have to say good-bye to the graduates. On the one hand I am proud to have known them, and on the other hand, I am sorry we didn't get the chance to know each other better. I wish them all the best of the adventure that they are facing at this time in their lives. What a ride!
It is also bittersweet to have to say good-bye to the graduates. On the one hand I am proud to have known them, and on the other hand, I am sorry we didn't get the chance to know each other better. I wish them all the best of the adventure that they are facing at this time in their lives. What a ride!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Spring has sprung!
I have to admit to being a little disappointed when I moved to Kansas in mid-January and was greeted by a blizzard. I thought, "I moved pretty far south, I thought winters would be milder!" But someone I met that first week told me that I would be happier in a couple of months when spring arrived earlier than in Michigan. She was right!
February was very wintry, but March in Kansas is more like April in Michigan - many mornings with frost on my windshield, some days early in the month with snow that stuck and piled up, but also many days where it was sunny and 'almost' warm. I went back to Michigan for my spring break week in late March, and had to face lots of snow and single digit temperatures. I wasn't very happy. And it snowed a bit in Kansas the Sunday before I came back. But that was the end of winter in Lawrence!
Spring arrived kind of abruptly. The Sunday after I returned it was 92 degrees! Holy cow! That was an unusual day, record breaking, in fact. But spring had definitely arrived. The next day there were trees in bloom all over town. There are huge trees covered in white blossoms, the red buds are in bloom and the crab apples are in full bud. Daffodils and tulips are blooming on campus and the students are running all over campus in shorts and flip-flops.
Yesterday I walked across campus in the sunshine and students were promoting their clubs and charities with a basketball free throw contest, boys on stationary bikes raising money for the homeless, and various other fun outdoor activities. I almost died laughing when I saw a campus police officer riding down the sidewalk on his segue! (A thoroughly emasculating device!)
I have had a very busy week, since my boss, the lovely Terese, is in Atlanta at a conference. I taught our tutor training class by myself, have had a steady flow of interns in the writing center (along with a plethora of writers), have been doing formal observations, and yesterday I got to spend an entire class period with Sociology Masters and PhD students. That class is on the top floor of the highest building on the hill. The view from up there was stunning! Even more fabulous for me personally was that I spent an hour with my kind of people. It brought me back to the time when I was in my Masters program, all kinds of wonderful people studying all kind of things that I find fascinating.
But as I drove home from campus last night, I was struck by the feeling of being alone more than usual. When I was in Istanbul there was a small and tightly knit group of ex-pats who welcomed me, and kept me from ever feeling like I was alone. In Kansas though, I have arrived into a society of people who already have their very busy, well organized lives well in place. Out side of my work environment, I am not feeling like I have a 'place' here yet. I found myself missing home, my friends and family last night...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Fat Tuesday
I woke up feeling very strange this morning. The first thought to pass through my semi-conscious mind was that today marks one year since my Dad passed away, and I felt sad. I remembered my sister in-law calling me on the phone, waking up on the sofa in my parents apartment in Tucson and hearing her grief stricken voice telling me that Dad had passed peacefully. Then I thought about going in to wake my Mom, laying down on the bed beside her cancer stricken body and telling her that her husband of 65 years had passed away. "I guess we should get up" she said to me. Then I thought, I can't let the sadness swallow me whole... I get to go to work today, I have to find a way to find some joy....
And then I remembered it is Fat Tuesday. I thought about the Flint tradition of paczkis. I never even heard of these until I moved to the Flint area where on every Fat Tuesday, thousand of these giant jelly doughnuts are purchased and consumed. I don't really know where this tradition came from, but my guess is that the Polish immigrants who came to work int he automotive industry brought them to Michigan. I wondered, briefly, if they have them in Kansas, but I doubt it.
And then I thought about the most fun I ever had on a Tuesday... it was at the Fasching parade in Cologne, Germany. (Koln for the purists.) The whole area has a huge party, thousands of people in costumes - whole families of cowboys, Indians or clowns - gather along the streets to watch the fun. Each little town has a section of the parade - which lasts for hours and hours. The village participants dress in matching costumes, bring their town band and huge ancient wagons filled with the town's favorites who toss flowers to the ladies lining the street and candy to everyone. Every town has its own candy which is wrapped for the event in papers which tout the town's name. I had been told about this so Larry, Nick and I went prepared to grab as much candy as we could. I was thinking probably little squares or maybe 'fun-size' bars of chocolate... which there were... I had not been expecting them to throw 3 pound boxes of chocolates at us! It was the most amazing parade I had ever seen - and I have seen a lot of parades! After about four hours, we were exhausted and ducked into a nearby cafe to sit and watch the rest of the parade go by while we had soup and something to drink.
Now I realize that this parade was not as spectacular or glitzy as those in New Orleans or Rio, but it was the most fun I had ever had on a Tuesday. I have decided that I am going to focus on the Fasching parade today whenever I feel sad.
And then I remembered it is Fat Tuesday. I thought about the Flint tradition of paczkis. I never even heard of these until I moved to the Flint area where on every Fat Tuesday, thousand of these giant jelly doughnuts are purchased and consumed. I don't really know where this tradition came from, but my guess is that the Polish immigrants who came to work int he automotive industry brought them to Michigan. I wondered, briefly, if they have them in Kansas, but I doubt it.
And then I thought about the most fun I ever had on a Tuesday... it was at the Fasching parade in Cologne, Germany. (Koln for the purists.) The whole area has a huge party, thousands of people in costumes - whole families of cowboys, Indians or clowns - gather along the streets to watch the fun. Each little town has a section of the parade - which lasts for hours and hours. The village participants dress in matching costumes, bring their town band and huge ancient wagons filled with the town's favorites who toss flowers to the ladies lining the street and candy to everyone. Every town has its own candy which is wrapped for the event in papers which tout the town's name. I had been told about this so Larry, Nick and I went prepared to grab as much candy as we could. I was thinking probably little squares or maybe 'fun-size' bars of chocolate... which there were... I had not been expecting them to throw 3 pound boxes of chocolates at us! It was the most amazing parade I had ever seen - and I have seen a lot of parades! After about four hours, we were exhausted and ducked into a nearby cafe to sit and watch the rest of the parade go by while we had soup and something to drink.
Now I realize that this parade was not as spectacular or glitzy as those in New Orleans or Rio, but it was the most fun I had ever had on a Tuesday. I have decided that I am going to focus on the Fasching parade today whenever I feel sad.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Struggling to focus
I hate it when I can't focus. When I suddenly forget what I was going to do and get distracted by something that I can't do anything about. It has been happening a lot lately. And I am pretty sure that it has a lot to do with the grieving process, and moving through it. A year ago last week my Dad was stricken and hospitalized, and I left Michigan to go to Arizona to help. It never occurred to me that the events would transpire as they did. I never thought I would loose my Dad first... and so suddenly.
Grief is a strange thing. I will be doing something totally normal, driving to school, or waiting in line for lunch, or washing the dishes... when suddenly, a simple thought passes through my mind - a flash of something my Dad said or did, or a look he gave me. There is a constriction in my chest, grief washes over me and tears spring, unwanted, to my eyes. My face gets hot and I can't breathe, for just an instant. Then I take a deep breath, and recognize the grief and it passes. This is followed by fear. I am afraid the grief will come, and I wont be able to stop the tears from rolling down my face - when I am in some very public place and people will stop, and stare at me in askance. I am afraid I will pull others into my grief.
It is hard to continually "out-create" these feelings. And I have to. I have to stay busy, and keep myself occupied all the time. And that is hard to do in this little apartment in Kansas. If I were home, there would be plenty of distractions and plenty to keep me busy - except I wouldn't have work that I love. So I dig in to the work with gusto, and that keeps me going during the day. During the week I come home and am tired, so it is easy to keep the grief at bay. But on the weekends... I am still in the transition stage here. I don't have a circle of friends to socialize with on the weekends... yet. I haven't 'created' my life here in the ways that will keep me happy... yet. I am still struggling with keeping myself busy on the weekends - keeping the grief at bay. I know this is all part of the "grieving process", but I hate it. And the worst part is that I know with complete certainty, that it is up to me to create myself out of this. Starting with dinner tonight. I think I'll make Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and green beans.
Grief is a strange thing. I will be doing something totally normal, driving to school, or waiting in line for lunch, or washing the dishes... when suddenly, a simple thought passes through my mind - a flash of something my Dad said or did, or a look he gave me. There is a constriction in my chest, grief washes over me and tears spring, unwanted, to my eyes. My face gets hot and I can't breathe, for just an instant. Then I take a deep breath, and recognize the grief and it passes. This is followed by fear. I am afraid the grief will come, and I wont be able to stop the tears from rolling down my face - when I am in some very public place and people will stop, and stare at me in askance. I am afraid I will pull others into my grief.
It is hard to continually "out-create" these feelings. And I have to. I have to stay busy, and keep myself occupied all the time. And that is hard to do in this little apartment in Kansas. If I were home, there would be plenty of distractions and plenty to keep me busy - except I wouldn't have work that I love. So I dig in to the work with gusto, and that keeps me going during the day. During the week I come home and am tired, so it is easy to keep the grief at bay. But on the weekends... I am still in the transition stage here. I don't have a circle of friends to socialize with on the weekends... yet. I haven't 'created' my life here in the ways that will keep me happy... yet. I am still struggling with keeping myself busy on the weekends - keeping the grief at bay. I know this is all part of the "grieving process", but I hate it. And the worst part is that I know with complete certainty, that it is up to me to create myself out of this. Starting with dinner tonight. I think I'll make Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and green beans.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Apartment living
Since I have lived in houses that I purchased for well over 20 years, there are pros and cons to living in an apartment that I had forgotten about. Here is the short list I have discovered so far:
Cons: 1. My washer is TINY. I can wash two pairs of jeans at one time, only one sheet at a time, or just my socks and underwear for the week!
2. I don't want to turn the music on at 5:30 in the morning when I get up because I am afraid I will disturb my neighbors.(Not that I would have turned it on at home at that hour either, for similar reasons.) 3. I hear all the car doors closing when my neighbors or their visitors arrive - all of them.
4. There is very little storage space for things like boxes that I want to keep.
5. I have to scrape the ice and snow off my car before I can leave every morning because I don't have a garage.
Pros: 1. I don't have to remember to take the trash cans down to the curb on the appointed day. I just put my trash in the dumpster - I don't even know when it gets emptied.
2. If the pilot light on my furnace goes out, I just call the nice young man in the office and he comes to light it for me.
3. Someone else has to shovel the walk, drive and parking lot.
4. There is very little storage space, so I really can't keep things like boxes.
5. If the furnace goes out, the well runs dry, the roof leaks, the garage door breaks, or any other major calamity occurs, I won't have to shell out the five thousand bucks to get it repaired.
6. It took me all of 45 minutes yesterday to clean the whole house. Dusting, cleaning, vacuuming, mopping - everything - all done in 45 minutes!
A few other pros about my new home:
1. It is 3 miles to work.
2. It is three miles to Target.
3. I couldn't iron anything if I wanted to because I don't have an iron.
4. I can pretty much do anything I want on my time off from work - eg. I can eat what I want when I want, watch what I want, do what I want. Yesterday, after cleaning my house and doing 6 loads of laundry I watched girlie movies, followed by Star Trek and then I had popcorn and yogurt for supper. :)
The cons... should be obvious to anyone who knows me... I miss my friends and family.
Cons: 1. My washer is TINY. I can wash two pairs of jeans at one time, only one sheet at a time, or just my socks and underwear for the week!
2. I don't want to turn the music on at 5:30 in the morning when I get up because I am afraid I will disturb my neighbors.(Not that I would have turned it on at home at that hour either, for similar reasons.) 3. I hear all the car doors closing when my neighbors or their visitors arrive - all of them.
4. There is very little storage space for things like boxes that I want to keep.
5. I have to scrape the ice and snow off my car before I can leave every morning because I don't have a garage.
Pros: 1. I don't have to remember to take the trash cans down to the curb on the appointed day. I just put my trash in the dumpster - I don't even know when it gets emptied.
2. If the pilot light on my furnace goes out, I just call the nice young man in the office and he comes to light it for me.
3. Someone else has to shovel the walk, drive and parking lot.
4. There is very little storage space, so I really can't keep things like boxes.
5. If the furnace goes out, the well runs dry, the roof leaks, the garage door breaks, or any other major calamity occurs, I won't have to shell out the five thousand bucks to get it repaired.
6. It took me all of 45 minutes yesterday to clean the whole house. Dusting, cleaning, vacuuming, mopping - everything - all done in 45 minutes!
A few other pros about my new home:
1. It is 3 miles to work.
2. It is three miles to Target.
3. I couldn't iron anything if I wanted to because I don't have an iron.
4. I can pretty much do anything I want on my time off from work - eg. I can eat what I want when I want, watch what I want, do what I want. Yesterday, after cleaning my house and doing 6 loads of laundry I watched girlie movies, followed by Star Trek and then I had popcorn and yogurt for supper. :)
The cons... should be obvious to anyone who knows me... I miss my friends and family.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Finding my way
Two weeks ago today I moved in to my new apartment in Lawrence Kansas. I have been so busy that it seems more like a month ago. Larry and Nick left on Monday after they made sure that the pictures were hung, drapes were up and that I know how to make all the electronics work. It's not that I am that slow, but they know that if I don't use something electronic, I will probably call them and have to ask "which button makes the DVD player work?" or "How do I switch to the Wii?". So they sat me down on the sofa and put me through my paces... "So Mom, say you are watching TV and then you think, I want to watch a DVD... which button are you going to push?" Thank goodness they came with me, and were patient enough to help me get everything where I want it! I went with Larry to the Avis shop here in town and he rented as big a car as he could get because we had agreed that the desk I brought from home was just a bit too big for comfort in this little apartment. He and Nick took it apart and somehow got it into the back of the car, loaded up their belongings and drove home - all in one day. It was a very long drive, but they were trying to get across the country between snow storms.
I am getting settled in to my new job at the Writing Center. I had some computer issues (like you do) but I think those are pretty well sorted out at this point. The user name and passwords for the system at KU is pretty ridiculous however. When I described it to Nick he said something like, "Someone has delusions of grandeur. Who do they think they are, the Pentagon?" I find I waste a lot of time every day entering my user name and password over and over, every time I want to look at something different within the system.
I have been trying to get to know all of the current tutors - or, consultants as they call them here. I made 26 appointments, and I either sit down and just get to know them, or I have them tutor something I have written. I want to know each of them, not only as people, but also get to know their tutoring style. So far I am very impressed with the tutors I have gotten to know - both as just plain nice people, but also in their love for tutoring and their goals for their own educations. While just like a lot of other writing centers, many of the consultants are English majors, there are others with very diverse interests. (Linguistics, Film, etc.)
I am also on the books as co-instructor for Eng 400 - their 'tutor training' class. We met the class for the first time this past Tuesday, and next Tuesday I am teaching the class by myself, since my Director, Terese will be lecturing at Stanford. There are 26 students in the class, so I am looking forward to creating a lively group. And, I am looking forward to teaching my first class of native English speakers!
I love the fact that I am less than 3 miles from work, that it is easy to get to fun restaurants, shopping and services I may need. I am not so thrilled with having to walk up a very steep hill from the parking lot with snowy and icy sidewalks, but I am sure I will get used to that. Parking, like on many college campuses, is nightmarish... but I will adjust. I am also not thrilled about having my car parked out in front of my apartment where it gets cold at night and needs to be cleared of snow, ice and frost before I can leave for work. But again, I will adjust.
So far I am doing okay, finding my way around, getting to know people and my surroundings. I am not completely in create mode yet - I feel more like I am catching up. But it will come. I think it is going to be trickier to get the consultants to treat me as their peer than it was at UM Flint - because I am their boss, not a student sitting next to them in class... but that, too will come. I attended a "Professional Development" day at the Union on Wednesday. The Provost and others gave talks and we went to various sessions that caught our interest. I am excited about being a part of a 'writer's guild' where we will meet occasionally to support each other in our personal writing endeavors... but the highlight of the day, for me, was during the session on using social networking media for our jobs. During the presentation there was a slide which had a quote on it. It was the only quote, and it was from UM Flint!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Moving... again.
I hate moving. I don't mind the 'change' aspect of moving, it is all the decisions one has to make which are based upon sketchy information. For example, I knew there is a kitchen with a dishwasher, disposal, stove, fridge, etc... but I had no idea if there would be space on the counters or in the cupboards for my big kitchen maid mixer, nor if I would ever have need of it in the little apartment in Kansas. I think it is the guessing part that makes me the most uncomfortable with moving. Since I have done this (move to a fairly unknown place) many times, I planned, somewhat, for the possibilities. I am a list-maker and a planner. I am not particularly fond of big surprises, so I try to cover a myriad of possibilities. Some times this works out well, and other times it is just a crap shoot.
Fortunately, this time, it has all gone pretty well. Wednesday night we picked up the u-haul truck and Nick and his buddy loaded it all up. I apparently planned exactly the right amount of 'stuff' to completely fill not only the 10' truck, but also the trunk of the car! Thursday we drove to Anderson, Indiana (where we had lived for some 10 years) and spent a lovely evening with friends there. Other than a dense snow squall during the last hour of the drive out of Michigan everything went just fine. Friday, however, was a very long drive of about 10 hours to get to Lawrence Kansas. Saturday morning I got us breakfast at Mickey D's and we headed over to the new apartment. There was no one parked in front of my new place, so we backed the truck right up to the walk and Larry and Nick began to unload while I took pictures of the 'problem' areas inside. Nothing major, just nicks, dirt, chips and the like.
The apartment has a nice living space with a vaulted ceiling from which there is a fan and light fixture, and a fireplace at one end. The washer/dryer combo is in the closet which also houses the furnace and water heater. The kitchen is small but very workable with a fridge that is only a skosh bigger than the one I had in Istanbul. The bedroom is decent sized with a walk-in closet and the bathroom is what one can expect in an apartment. While I am here by myself this will be just fine, but it is a little crowded for three of us! My new boss, the lovely Terese, bought us lunch on move-in day, sending over three delicious pizzas! This delivery was followed by the arrival of two cable guys to get me all wired and hooked up and then one of the veteran tutors came to help unload the heavier furniture. Of course in this small space, the boys couldn't unload anything with the cable guys in the way, so we chatted and I unloaded boxes in the kitchen while we waited for them to finish up. It probably took all of 30 minutes to completely unload the truck.
Next on my priority list was to purchase as many of the necessities as possible before I went to sleep, so that meant a trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target. These kinds of stores are probably a whole three miles from the apartment. (I love small towns!) After picking up some of the more important items, (silverware, glasses, a coffee pot and some food) we stopped at Applebee's for some supper and went back to pass out. Sunday was filled with more unpacking, returning the u-haul and purchases. Top on my list was bookshelves so I can unload the boxes of books. The good news.... there is a World Market which has lovely bookcases - on sale! The bad news.... we probably should have waited to return the u-haul until after I had bought them! But, with the long box hanging way out the back of the trunk, and the smaller box in the back seat and Nick laying across it we managed to get them home!
We went for a little tour of the campus, so Larry and Nick could see where I would be spending most of my time. It is as lovely as I remembered. There is a shopping center with a very large grocery store and a brew house/restaurant just down the street. We ate at the brew house and then stopped at the grocery store for TP and kleenex. Terese called while we were there - she was at the apartment with baked goods for us! She left them by the door for us - yummy muffins! By the time we got home I was exhausted, and fell asleep on the sofa at about 8:00. I moved to the bed at about 10:30 and slept like the dead until my usual wake-up time, 5:30am. So today I will finish as much of the unpacking as I can, send the boys to Home Depot for the little hardware supplies we need, hopefully get to see Terese, and go downtown to explore. For all that I hate moving, now that the hard part has passed, I am excited to learn about my new home, the community, the campus, my colleagues and students and settle in to the next chapter of my life.
Fortunately, this time, it has all gone pretty well. Wednesday night we picked up the u-haul truck and Nick and his buddy loaded it all up. I apparently planned exactly the right amount of 'stuff' to completely fill not only the 10' truck, but also the trunk of the car! Thursday we drove to Anderson, Indiana (where we had lived for some 10 years) and spent a lovely evening with friends there. Other than a dense snow squall during the last hour of the drive out of Michigan everything went just fine. Friday, however, was a very long drive of about 10 hours to get to Lawrence Kansas. Saturday morning I got us breakfast at Mickey D's and we headed over to the new apartment. There was no one parked in front of my new place, so we backed the truck right up to the walk and Larry and Nick began to unload while I took pictures of the 'problem' areas inside. Nothing major, just nicks, dirt, chips and the like.
The apartment has a nice living space with a vaulted ceiling from which there is a fan and light fixture, and a fireplace at one end. The washer/dryer combo is in the closet which also houses the furnace and water heater. The kitchen is small but very workable with a fridge that is only a skosh bigger than the one I had in Istanbul. The bedroom is decent sized with a walk-in closet and the bathroom is what one can expect in an apartment. While I am here by myself this will be just fine, but it is a little crowded for three of us! My new boss, the lovely Terese, bought us lunch on move-in day, sending over three delicious pizzas! This delivery was followed by the arrival of two cable guys to get me all wired and hooked up and then one of the veteran tutors came to help unload the heavier furniture. Of course in this small space, the boys couldn't unload anything with the cable guys in the way, so we chatted and I unloaded boxes in the kitchen while we waited for them to finish up. It probably took all of 30 minutes to completely unload the truck.
Next on my priority list was to purchase as many of the necessities as possible before I went to sleep, so that meant a trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target. These kinds of stores are probably a whole three miles from the apartment. (I love small towns!) After picking up some of the more important items, (silverware, glasses, a coffee pot and some food) we stopped at Applebee's for some supper and went back to pass out. Sunday was filled with more unpacking, returning the u-haul and purchases. Top on my list was bookshelves so I can unload the boxes of books. The good news.... there is a World Market which has lovely bookcases - on sale! The bad news.... we probably should have waited to return the u-haul until after I had bought them! But, with the long box hanging way out the back of the trunk, and the smaller box in the back seat and Nick laying across it we managed to get them home!
We went for a little tour of the campus, so Larry and Nick could see where I would be spending most of my time. It is as lovely as I remembered. There is a shopping center with a very large grocery store and a brew house/restaurant just down the street. We ate at the brew house and then stopped at the grocery store for TP and kleenex. Terese called while we were there - she was at the apartment with baked goods for us! She left them by the door for us - yummy muffins! By the time we got home I was exhausted, and fell asleep on the sofa at about 8:00. I moved to the bed at about 10:30 and slept like the dead until my usual wake-up time, 5:30am. So today I will finish as much of the unpacking as I can, send the boys to Home Depot for the little hardware supplies we need, hopefully get to see Terese, and go downtown to explore. For all that I hate moving, now that the hard part has passed, I am excited to learn about my new home, the community, the campus, my colleagues and students and settle in to the next chapter of my life.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Auf Wiedersehen
I woke up at 5:30 this morning, like I do most mornings. But today is different, today is a special day. Today begins the next chapter of my life, I will say auf wiedersehen to my home of 15 years and start my journey to Kansas. I am a jumble of emotion this morning as I drink my first cuppa joe. If I sit still and look around me, I have to fight away the tears. I didn't know it would be this hard... Yesterday we went and picked up a little u-haul truck. (Which, by the way, was outrageously expensive - almost $900.00 to take it just over 900 miles!)Then Nick and one of his friends loaded it up - it is very full!
There are a few odds and ends about the house I will try to cram in here and there; a lamp or two, these pictures and maybe that vase... but it is really difficult for me to choose which parts of the home I worked so long and hard to create, to destroy - not that I am actually destroying anything - it is just that when you find the perfect place for something, it is hard to take it away. Parts of the house now look incomplete to me.
On the other hand, today we will drive down to Anderson, Indiana where we lived for ten years before we moved to Michigan. I cried when we left there, and I survived the experience. When we left Indiana I left a wonderful circle of friends and a house that I loved. And while I cannot go back to that house, tonight I will, once again, spend the evening with some of those friends. It will be fun to see how the town has changed since we last visited there - about ten years ago - and great to see our friends!
And then tomorrow we will head west and arrive in Lawrence. I feel an odd sense of calm about this part. It is difficult to properly express how this move feels; exciting and yet at the same time serene - it just feels right. I know that I am going to have a pretty tough learning curve for a while... as I get to know my new colleagues, the campus, the town, and settle in to my new tiny apartment. But I have certainty that I will be more than fine there, I am needed and will flourish and grow like the sunflowers in Kansas.
I just have to get through this first part... the leaving part, and then it will all be okay. I keep reminding myself what my Dad would say, "you live in the world, but you can't control it" and repeating my usual mantra, "its not just life, it's an adventure - don't forget to pack the sense of humor". I will have a box of tissues handy in the car as I say "auf wiedersehen" to Michigan, because I am pretty sure I will need it! I will see you again...
There are a few odds and ends about the house I will try to cram in here and there; a lamp or two, these pictures and maybe that vase... but it is really difficult for me to choose which parts of the home I worked so long and hard to create, to destroy - not that I am actually destroying anything - it is just that when you find the perfect place for something, it is hard to take it away. Parts of the house now look incomplete to me.
On the other hand, today we will drive down to Anderson, Indiana where we lived for ten years before we moved to Michigan. I cried when we left there, and I survived the experience. When we left Indiana I left a wonderful circle of friends and a house that I loved. And while I cannot go back to that house, tonight I will, once again, spend the evening with some of those friends. It will be fun to see how the town has changed since we last visited there - about ten years ago - and great to see our friends!
And then tomorrow we will head west and arrive in Lawrence. I feel an odd sense of calm about this part. It is difficult to properly express how this move feels; exciting and yet at the same time serene - it just feels right. I know that I am going to have a pretty tough learning curve for a while... as I get to know my new colleagues, the campus, the town, and settle in to my new tiny apartment. But I have certainty that I will be more than fine there, I am needed and will flourish and grow like the sunflowers in Kansas.
I just have to get through this first part... the leaving part, and then it will all be okay. I keep reminding myself what my Dad would say, "you live in the world, but you can't control it" and repeating my usual mantra, "its not just life, it's an adventure - don't forget to pack the sense of humor". I will have a box of tissues handy in the car as I say "auf wiedersehen" to Michigan, because I am pretty sure I will need it! I will see you again...
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1-1-11
New Years day once again... and that means that I have been doing a bit of reflecting on the past year, and thinking about the next one. I took a look back at my resolution post from last year and saw the irony in that decision. It appears as though my first thought last year - which was to persevere - is the one that stuck. I made it through 2010, and that was about it. With all the overwhelming sorrows of 2010 behind me I have decided it will remain at the top of my list for the worst year ever. So then I had to look toward this new year and all its new opportunities.
In the next few weeks I will be moving from Michigan to Kansas. I will be leaving behind the comfort in familiarity, my home of 15 years, my network of wonderful friends and, last but most important, my family. There is an element of sadness connected to leaving which threatens to overshadow my excitement with the changes I am facing. I poured my heart into creating the home where my children both came of age, to make it a warm and welcoming place where everyone would feel welcome and safe. So many wonderful memories - birthdays, snow days, holidays, friends, laughter, dancing, music, and tons of food! So it is bittersweet to be leaving - and I seem to come easily to tears.
On the other hand, I am so excited to have the opportunity to move to this wonderful little town and work at a job that I know I will love. I accepted and signed the job offer on the 30th, so it is all official and I will be the Assistant Director of the Writing Center at the University of Kansas beginning on January 19th, 2011. In some ways it feels like all the other things I have done in the past have been in preparation for this new career. Really, this is my third or fourth career, but the one I plan to do for the rest of my working life. I am excited and at the same time, overwhelmed. I have to find a place to live, pack up whatever I am taking with me, go to Lawrence, move in, unpack and then start.
So I have been thinking about the "one word resolution" for this year. The first thought that popped into my mind was 'change'. But change is inevitable, no matter what we think, so I tossed that word aside. I have decided upon 'create' for my word for 2011. This year I will create a new life in many ways: a new home, a new job, a new network of friends, a new community, new relationships, and new goals. I will have to find a new grocery store, new doctor and dentist, maybe a new choir, and definitely a new routine for my life. I am excited about the changes and optimistic that I can 'create' this new chapter in my life in ways that will bring back my sense of adventure and joy. Happy New Year - and Welcome 2011! I will create this year, may you flourish and prosper in 2011!
In the next few weeks I will be moving from Michigan to Kansas. I will be leaving behind the comfort in familiarity, my home of 15 years, my network of wonderful friends and, last but most important, my family. There is an element of sadness connected to leaving which threatens to overshadow my excitement with the changes I am facing. I poured my heart into creating the home where my children both came of age, to make it a warm and welcoming place where everyone would feel welcome and safe. So many wonderful memories - birthdays, snow days, holidays, friends, laughter, dancing, music, and tons of food! So it is bittersweet to be leaving - and I seem to come easily to tears.
On the other hand, I am so excited to have the opportunity to move to this wonderful little town and work at a job that I know I will love. I accepted and signed the job offer on the 30th, so it is all official and I will be the Assistant Director of the Writing Center at the University of Kansas beginning on January 19th, 2011. In some ways it feels like all the other things I have done in the past have been in preparation for this new career. Really, this is my third or fourth career, but the one I plan to do for the rest of my working life. I am excited and at the same time, overwhelmed. I have to find a place to live, pack up whatever I am taking with me, go to Lawrence, move in, unpack and then start.
So I have been thinking about the "one word resolution" for this year. The first thought that popped into my mind was 'change'. But change is inevitable, no matter what we think, so I tossed that word aside. I have decided upon 'create' for my word for 2011. This year I will create a new life in many ways: a new home, a new job, a new network of friends, a new community, new relationships, and new goals. I will have to find a new grocery store, new doctor and dentist, maybe a new choir, and definitely a new routine for my life. I am excited about the changes and optimistic that I can 'create' this new chapter in my life in ways that will bring back my sense of adventure and joy. Happy New Year - and Welcome 2011! I will create this year, may you flourish and prosper in 2011!
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